Fifty Shades of Fucked Up

So I finished part one of the Shades of Grey trilogy. And obviously I’m quite traumatized. My dear friend Ahmed told me I wasn’t allowed to read the books because I’m too innocent. He may have been right!

I have a long list of problems with this book. Too many to name really, so here is my condensed version.

1. How is E.L James getting away with clearly plagiarizing Twilight. I know the series was originally Twilight fanfiction. But come on she could have done more then just change the names, she should have changed character descriptions. They are still clearly the Twilight characters. Christian is a perfect controlling god just like Edward. Brunette and clumsy Ana is clearly Bella. And maybe the worst is Jose as Jacob. Just because Jacob is Aboriginal doesn’t mean Jose has to be ethnic too. It’s kind of racist and offensive.

2. This goddess person that Ana always refers to is weird. Who sees another form of themselves commenting on their decisions. No one. Well actually one person, Lizzie McGuire. But the state of Hilary Duff’s career is evidence why an alter-ego on your shoulder is a bad idea.

3. The references to classical novels drives me up the wall. Mainly because they distort what the novels are about. Tess of the D’Urbervilles is not romantic at all. Tess is raped, ruined, gets married, gets abandoned by husband because she isn’t pure, becomes rapist’s mistress, hubby comes back, and then she dies. It’s not a happy story and I don’t appreciate it being portrayed as a romance. This is my problem with Twilight as well. Stephanie Meyer uses Romeo and Juliet and Wuthering Heights as love stories that Bella and Edward emulate. But they’re not love stories, the main characters all die! Heathcliff digs Catherine up out of her grave so he can die with her. That’s not romance. Also these authors have clearly read classic literature, yet they are such poor writers. How does that occur?

4. My mom has read them. Yes to my horror my mother has read all three books and loves them because of the storyline. My mom is very sweet so I believe her when she says she just likes the storyline. But still how gross is it to know your mom has read about spanking for pleasure, bondage and weird vaginal balls. bleh!

As disgusted as I am I still can’t wait to read the next book. This is what I don’t understand, why am I addicted to something so weird. But maybe that’s why Ana lets Christian be her dominant, it’s horrible but inexplicably you want more.

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2 thoughts on “Fifty Shades of Fucked Up

  1. “But the state of Hilary Duff’s career is evidence why an alter-ego on your shoulder is a bad idea.” hahaha this line made me choke on my water!
    Your review is amazing! I don’t get the nostalgia towards classic literature so-called “love stories”…the relationships in all those stories (from Tess to R&J to Wuthering Heights to Jane Eyre) are all what we would probably term “abusive” and “unhealthily co-dependent” today.

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